More than 900,000 Grade 12s are anxiously waiting for their National Senior Certificate (NSC) results, which will be announced on Monday, January 12.
For many, this is a milestone worthy of celebration, a culmination of years of hard work, late nights and perseverance. But for others, this week looms as a daunting reminder of pressure, expectations and fear of failure.
Matric results week is more than just about grades, it’s a key moment that can shape identity, self-worth and mental health.
“Independent Media Lifestyle” spoke to Roshni Parbhoo-Seetha, the Projects Manager for Schools Programmes at the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), who works closely with learners, parents and teachers around suicide prevention and emotional well-being.
For many teens, matric results carry an emotional weight far beyond their academic significance.
These results often feel like a verdict on intelligence, future and self-worth, even though that’s not true. Fear of letting others down and overwhelming uncertainty make this period especially tough emotionally.
For teens, whose emotional and neurological development is still ongoing, the stakes can feel unbearably high. Their thinking is often black-and-white. So a disappointing mark can feel permanent and unbearable, explained Parbhoo-Seetha.
She continues, “Add social pressure, family expectations and a fear of the future and the distress can become overwhelming, even in teens who appear ‘fine’ on the outside.”
One of the biggest challenges during high-stress periods like matric results week is recognising when a teen is struggling. Many young people internalise their distress, especially high achievers who feel they must maintain a facade of strength, explained Parbhoo-Seetha.
One of the biggest myths she encounters a lot in this line of work is the fear that talking about suicide will “put the idea into a child’s head.
“When we avoid these conversations, we don’t protect our young people, we isolate them,” she explains.
“The silence sends a message that certain thoughts are too scary or shameful to talk about. In reality, asking about suicide doesn’t plant the idea. It often brings relief. It tells a child: you’re not alone, and I can handle this with you.”
Research backs this up. Multiple international studies, including findings cited by the World Health Organisation (WHO), show that open, calm conversations about suicide do not increase risk avoidance.
The quiet red flags parents often miss
Not all warning signs are dramatic. Some are subtle and easy to overlook:
- Withdrawal from family or friends
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Losing interest in things they once loved
- Giving away possessions
- Emotional flatness
- Sudden calmness after visible distress
That last one is especially important. “A sudden calm can signal emotional shutdown,” Parbhoo-Seetha warns.
“Families feel relieved, but it’s often a moment to lean in, not step back.”
If changes last more than a few days, that’s reason enough to check in.
Open, calm conversations reduce risk. Connection, not control or correction, is the most protective factor for teens in distress.
How to start the conversation
If you’re a parent sensing something is wrong, trust your instincts. You don’t need proof to check in. Start with gentle, open-ended statements like:
“I’ve noticed you’ve seemed quieter than usual, and I’m worried.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here to listen.”
Avoid minimising language like:
“It’s not that bad.”
“Others have it worse.”
“Just think positive.”
These phrases can unintentionally dismiss a teen’s feelings, causing them to shut down further. Instead, focus on validating their emotions and reinforcing that they are not defined by their results.
Understanding parasuicide: The misunderstood cry for help
Parasuicide, or non-fatal self-harming behavior, is often misunderstood as “attention-seeking.” This label is not only inaccurate but harmful. Parbhoo-Seetha clarifies:
“These behaviors are not attention-seeking, they’re connection-seeking. It’s a sign that someone doesn’t know how else to ask for help. Dismissing it increases shame and heightens the risk of more serious harm later.”
Parents and educators must recognise that parasuicide signals deep emotional distress and requires immediate intervention and support.
Rebuilding emotional safety
Whether a teen is celebrating their results or grappling with disappointment, this week is an opportunity for families to reinforce unconditional love and emotional safety. Parbhoo-Seetha offers some grounding truths:
“Matric results are important, but they’re not a life sentence. No result is worth your life. Success is not linear, it’s an up-and-down journey.”
To rebuild emotional safety after a crisis
- Listen without judgment: Avoid lecturing. Teens need to feel heard, not corrected.
- Apologise when necessary: Parents aren’t perfect, and acknowledging mistakes can strengthen trust.
- Celebrate effort over outcome: Highlight resilience, not just results.
- Explore alternative paths: Discuss Plan B, C or D. Life offers many opportunities.
For anyone struggling, help is always available. SADAG’s 24-hour helpline is a lifeline for teens and families alike. Remember, no result defines your future; your worth goes far beyond a grade.
Helplines: SADAG 24-hour Helpline: 0800 567 567
Suicide Crisis Line: 0800 12 13 14
